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Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.
*I Peter 4.9, ESV
Hospitality can be a simple, kind recognition of the other person, by a look, a reply to an email, offering to pray for the person ~ opportunity to offer hospitality arises in many ways, and every day. Indeed, there are many persons who need desperately to be noticed, to know someone
recognizes they exists.
I wrote a person I had come to respect highly. I felt he and I could relate well. I was in need of a good friend, even if a friend at a distance. I wrote him, affirming my prayer for him, another note sharing my need of his prayer. The notes were weeks apart; between the time I met him briefly at a public function.
He did not acknowledge the notes, in writing or in person. This confused me. I wondered if he considered he does not have time to recognize my reaching out for spiritual sharing and support. I came to cease efforts to connect with him and that such was no reflection on me. But for a time I was a little hurt over the lack of response.
Today, I had a contrasting experience. Last evening, I wrote a Chaplain whom I had met recently. I asked for his prayer, in a reply to his offer for me to volunteer in airport chaplaincy. His wife and he had showed me around the airport at Tampa, FL, and were very gracious to me.
Here is my response to his reply letter. The letter concludes with some poetic verse:
Your response brings hopefulness to my heart, and your faith encourages me. Being here apart from family and without close friends, somewhat isolated, is difficult. I have emotionally trying moments, usually in the morning early, then, I get up and have a long time of reading and prayer - things, then, are much better, for the peace of God fills me with renewed comfort and a sense of His Presence.
I just turned 48 Saturday. I am praying for a new beginning. For years my longing has been to be a person through whom Christ touches others. I pray the remainder of my life will be totally given to that. This last year I have confessed that I have made some mistakes and too much shielded myself from the vulnerability needed to minister to the "least of these." I feel God has heard my contrition and longing.
At present, I sense God calling me to get much rest and spiritual nurture. The last three years have been hard on me emotionally, and I feel God is working deeply in me for a new beginning. I often remember Abraham going "where he did not know." Possibly, sometimes the way does not become clear, until we totally give up trying to find it apart from a total abdication in love to His Will.
Again, your reply has been a blessing. When we feel alone and apart, few words of kindness can minister an immense Grace. We never know the full extent of why Providence allows us to cross paths, or leads us to do so, and I am grateful our paths crossed. Thank you, very much.
Flowers unfurl to Sunlight above
Light draws the soul to God in Love
Affections overflow in this Garden alone
Angels descend from heaven, in prayer and song
Not seeking else but You, my Friend, above all
The heart awaits to hear clearly Your call
A resolve to go onward, hands to the plow,
Not a thought to look back, I pray just now
Give this strength to till onward all through
Until You, our Lord, have made all things new
St. John Chrysostom (c. 347-407), esteemed as the greatest preacher of all-time in the Western Church, died in exile. He never had a wide circle of close friends. A few persons, not knowing him well, considered him to be too reserved and cold. Yet, he was known by almost all others as a warm-hearted, loving, and optimistic man. Around persons he knew well, St. John was cheerful, even playful.
St. John shows us a tender heart. While in exile, he wrote: "It is no light effort, but it demands an energetic soul and a great mind to bear separation from one whom we love in the charity of Christ."
Now, recall, St. John is considered one of the greatest of spiritual persons. Yet, he could suffer the normal hurt of human separation. He could complain of loneliness, for the companionship of Christ does not bar one from deep feelings of missing human companionship.
St. John wrote, again in exile, complaining of not receiving letters. To a friend, he penned: "Do not be backward in writing to me from time to time, nay, very frequently." And, ...
I should write more frequently to you, under a feeling that my letters might be of service; but, as it is, many persons have crossed to this place who might have brought to me a letter from you, and it has been a great sorrow that I have received nothing.
Possibly, the pain of unrequited affection is among the most painful of trials. Being ignored, especially when we have reached out to someone, can lead to feelings of isolation and aloneness, and not being thought worthy of polite human concern.
What do these feelings teach us? We need not belittle these feelings, for they tell us of our nature to receive and give love. These feelings show us the importance of responding thoughtfully to others who may need us, even if the need is only a simple acknowledgement. Likewise, we learn to accept the unrequited offers of caring. In unrequited kindness, we grow wiser, for in not trying to get affection from persons unable or unwilling to offer it, we learn how to enter into healthier relationships.
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What in the above writing relates to your personal experience?
Is there someone you know who is reaching out to you? How can you respond with kindness?
Is there someone who is not responding to your effort to share concern or to receive his or her support? What do you need to do to address that matter?
Do you tend to reject your feelings of loneliness? How might you better deal with such feelings?
Are you prone to be so helpful to others that you block them from helping you? Explain.
Could your feelings of loneliness be resolved, at least somewhat, by engaging more in helping others? Explain.
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*Material on St. John Chrysostom is from Fr. Christopher Rengers. The 33 Doctors of the Church.
*Charitable contributions would be appreciated to assist Brian in continuing his ministry. For contributions, contact Brian at barukhattah@embarqmail.com .
*Brian's book of spiritual love poetry, An Ache for Union: Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major booksellers or the Cokesbury on-line store, cokesbury.com .
*Brian K. Wilcox, a United Methodist Pastor, lives in Southwest Florida. He is a vowed member of Greenbough House of Prayer, a contemplative Christian community in South Georgia. He lives a contemplative life and seeks to inspire others to enjoy a more intimate relationship with Christ. Brian advocates for a spiritually-focused, experiential Christianity and renewal of the Church through addressing the deeper spiritual needs and longings of persons.
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